A Promise Kept: Robertson McQuilkin’s Extraordinary Story of Love and Commitment

There’s something missing in most of the love stories we celebrate in our world today.

Think about the films you’ve seen, the books you’ve read, or the TV movies you’ve watched on the Hallmark Channel. Or even the popular fairy tales and animated Disney films we watch as kids.

Nearly all of them focus on how a couple meets and falls in love. You assume that once they declare their love they will marry and live “happily ever after.”

But what happens next?

How many stay in love for the rest of their lives? How many remain committed, no matter what happens?

Those are the stories I want to hear.

And that brings me to one of my heroes in the faith, Robertson McQuilkin.  I have a number of heroes, but I’ll bet many of you have never heard of McQuilkin. He’s one of my heroes, not because he started a worldwide ministry, like Bill Bright with Campus Crusade for Christ ... or because he preached the gospel to untold millions around the world, like Billy Graham ... or because he was such an instrumental, life-changing teacher for young men and women, like Howard Hendricks at Dallas Theological Seminary.

No, Robertson McQuilkin is one of my heroes of the faith because at the very peak of his ministry, as president of Columbia Bible College and Seminary, he resigned and stepped down so he could care for his wife, Muriel.

This is a real love story. It’s the type we need today because it is becoming more and more rare.

You can find more of the story on the video I just released on my YouTube Channel, Inspiring Courageous Faith. McQuilkin was a renowned biblical theologian who had served internationally, with Muriel, as a missionary. He wrote a number of books. But after Muriel was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s disease and her condition worsened over the next few years, Robertson decided that God had a more important calling for him.

One of the issues he faced was how much she depended on him and wanted to be with him. They lived a half mile from his office, and she would go searching for him many times a day. “Sometimes she walked up to 10 times a day, round trip,” he said during the interview that Bob Lepine and I did with him for FamilyLife Today.  “One time, I was taking off her shoes at night, and her feet were bloody from all that walking. And I thought to myself, “God, is that how I love You? ... I asked Him to help me love Him the way she loved me.”

In his speech announcing he was resigning as president of Columbia Bible College and Seminary (now Columbia International University), McQuilkin said:

I haven't, in my life, experienced easy decision-making on major decisions. But one of the simplest and clearest decisions I've had to make is this one, because circumstances dictated it.

Muriel now in the last couple of months seems to be almost happy when with me, and almost never happy when not with me. In fact, she seems to feel trapped, becomes very fearful, sometimes almost terror, and when she can't get to me, there can be anger, she's in distress.

But when I'm with her, she's happy and contented. And so I must be with her at all times, and you see, it's not only that I promised in sickness and in health, 'til death do us part, and I'm a man of my word. But as I have said ... it's the only fair thing.  She sacrificed for me for 40 years to make my life possible.  So – if I cared for her for 40 years, I'd still be in debt.

However, there's much more. It's not that I have to, it's that I get to. I love her very dearly, and you can tell it's not easy to talk about. She is a delight. It's a great honor to care for such a wonderful person.

Robertson stepped down from his position at Columbia Bible College and Seminary in 1990. Muriel lived for another 13 years, until 2003, and Robertson received his graduation papers to heaven in 2016 at the age of 88.

One of the most astounding chapters of this story is the response within the Christian community to Robertson’s decision. What he did may not have seemed extraordinary to him, but I think God blessed his faith and spread the story way beyond what Robertson would have ever imagined...and these were the days before the internet and social media. 

I think you can see why Robertson McQuilken is one of my heroes of the faith. It took courage for him to follow God’s call ... and by the way, during the interview, he made it clear that he was not criticizing those who put a spouse in full-time care in these situations. He was able to care for his wife—with the big help from his daughter Marty—and he knew that’s what God wanted him to do, and so he did it.

It’s a great love story ... obviously one of my favorites. We just don’t see this type of commitment very often in these days—we get married and we vow to love each other “in sickness and in health,” but there’s no way most of us can look into the future and see what’s coming ahead over the next few decades. So I love stories like this because they serve as an inspiration and a model for us to follow.

Be sure to watch my latest YouTube video to hear more about Robertson McQuilkin. I also recommend his classic book, A Promise Kept.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sM2UbDAawLs