Q&A: How Can I Help My Two Sons Improve Their Relationship?

Our two sons were very different, and very competitive.

By Dennis and Barbara Rainey

How can you best create a loving relationship between brothers who are a few years apart in age?

Barbara: We worked really hard on this with our two boys, who are very different. Their interests are different, their personalities are different, they look different, they were different in school. One thing they do have in common, however, is that both are very competitive, so they tended to butt heads a lot!

During the last few years before our oldest left for college, one thing that made a difference was they developed a common interest—hunting with Dennis. It was something they shared together without competing. That helped to forge their friendship.

I also tried to cast a vision for our boys about the future. I would remind them, “Someday you are both going to be grown. You will always be brothers; you will always have each other. You can choose to be friends or you can choose to be enemies. You can choose to try to be kind to one another, or you can choose to be mean, tacky, and ugly.”

I know they didn’t see the big picture back then, but I believe this struck in the back of their minds because they have grown into incredible friends.

Copyright © by FamilyLife. Used with permission.

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