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6 Ways Wives Can Romance Their Husbands (Part Two)

By Dennis Rainey



Did you know there is an actual belt around the globe, five degrees north and south of the equator, called the “doldrums”? It wraps its way around the planet and is known to have no wind…NADA…not a breath…for weeks.  In the days when ships depended on wind for their sails, getting caught in the doldrums sometimes meant weeks without movement—and that could mean death if sailors were caught in the heat and humidity with a short supply of food and water.


Marriages of any length will encounter periods of doldrums—with no wind in their sails. No romance … NADA!  Sameness. Suffering. No fun. Groundhog day, over and over.

 

Last week I began a list of six ways that wives can communicate their love and romance their husbands. Here’s the remainder of the list. Read these carefully and pick one or two that you can begin to excel in now and over the next 12 months.

 

2. Ask your husband a question or two about romance in your marriage and listen carefully to his answers.


Ask him, “What have been the three most romantic times we’ve had together? What made them so romantic?”


Ask him, “What can I do as your wife to create a more romantic marriage? What would you really like?”


Listen to his answers. What is he saying? Not saying? Ask God to help you communicate love, patience and romance in your husband’s language. Pull out your calendar and start by marking down some dates and experiences when you can clearly speak his love language and ignite some sparks in your marriage.

 

3. Remember that any husband wants to be desired by his wife.

 

So when was the last time you flirted with your husband? Locked your eyes on him, took his face in your hands, and planted one on him? Really turned it on? Or have you forgotten how to flirt?

Flirting in marriage is legal!  And should be liberally applied!



When was the last time you used your sexual power to lure him away from his smartphone or the sporting event on TV to be with you? Although Proverbs 5-7 is a father’s warning to his son about the illicit power of women who are aggressive, it’s only wrong because she’s a woman of the streets and not his wife. Become a God-authorized powerful magnet to your husband.

 

If you are reticent … do you know why? There are likely good reasons that need to be unpacked with the help of a solid biblical counselor.

 

The solution is NOT TO TRADE HIM IN FOR A NEWER, SLEEKER MODEL!



 4. Understand your husband wants to be respected, honored and affirmed by his wife. 


Ephesians 5:33 instructs husbands and wives, “However, let each of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

 

Do you know what communicates respect to your husband? How about a handwritten love letter that you read to him expressing appreciation for his positive qualities? Try bragging, not ragging, on him verbally. Someone has said, “Praise owes it value due to its scarcity.”


Honor him …


… by speaking to him with respect.

 

… for being a man of integrity.


… by thanking him for helping with chores or putting the kids to bed or taking the family out to eat.


I don’t think you can over-do communicating respect to him.


How about affirming him WITH WORDS…


… for making a good decision.


… for providing for you and your family.


… the next time you make love for loving you well and being a great lover.


5. Give him the gift of your affection.


Hold his hand.


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