Making an effort to think of what you still respect about him.
By Dennis and Barbara Rainey
What do you do when you’ve lost respect for your husband?
Barbara: That’s a difficult struggle, because Ephesians 5:33 makes it clear that we are to respect our husbands. My suggestion would be to make a real effort to think of things you can still respect about your husband. There may not be many, but you have to choose to focus on the positive if you want to make your marriage last.
You need to pull back from the daily routine of life, look at him objectively, and say, “What is good about him? What did I respect in the first place?” Study him again and don’t allow yourself to be so blinded by the things that are not good.
Some of these positive things may seem basic at first, but they really are important. The fact that a husband goes to work and provides for the family financially is worthy of respect. Maybe he plays ball with your son or daughter. That’s worthy of respect.
You may wish he did more, but if you let him know how much you appreciate what he does do, he will feel encouraged. Say, “I’m glad I’m married to a man who’s faithful to provide for his family.” Or write him a note expressing your appreciation and admiration.
Dennis: When a man is affirmed in his role as a husband by his wife, he will tend to seek other ways to receive that praise. So he may end up earning your respect even more … and it all started because you praised him for those areas in which he does deserve respect.
One word of caution: Don’t falsely flatter your spouse, or insincerely attempt to compliment him. It is better to find two or three things that you honestly admire about him than to lavish praise that is undeserved.
Copyright © by FamilyLife. Used with permission.
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