It’s Time for a Heart Check: Do We Believe What God Says About Children?

By Dennis Rainey

“Italy’s Births Hit Record Low”

“Oh Baby! A Decline in Birth Rate Shows How U.S.—and the World—Are Changing”

“Japan’s Birth Rate Fell for a Ninth Consecutive Year in 2024 to Hit a Record Low”

“The End of Children”

“The Global ‘Youth Scarcity’ Crisis”

These are some of the recent headlines from media outlets around the world, recognizing a gargantuan cultural megashift: Falling birth rates. Adults are having fewer children.

Nations like Japan, Italy, Spain, South Korea, and the United States are concerned about the economic impact of falling fertility rates. And they should be! In Italy, the birthrate has fallen more than 25 percent in the last 10 years. In America, the number of births per 1,000 people today is half the rate back in 1950.

For decades researchers have highlighted multiple causes for falling birthrates. Personally, I think the primary issue is pretty simple: We live in a world that just doesn’t value children as it once did. Instead we value prosperity, self-fulfillment and, if we are truly honest, self-indulgence. And those values influence us more than we want to admit.

In fact, if you have more than two or three kids, some people will undoubtedly express great concern: “Don’t you know how much kids cost? Can you afford to send them to college?” And then there’s always the ultimate insult, “You do know what creates children?”

Have you stopped to consider what a strange statement of values this is—that you’d actually decide not to have additional children because you might not be able to afford their college expenses?

God’s view of children

In Psalm 127:3 we are told, “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.” Elsewhere in Scripture children are repeatedly described as a blessing.

The bottom line: God is bullish on children.

The first chapter of the best-selling book of all time, the Bible, underscores the value God places on children:

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” Genesis 1:27-28

Here God commands parents to “be fruitful and multiply” and He declares that children are a blessing, a privilege, and a responsibility.

What do we really believe?

I think it’s time for a heart check about children in the Christian community.

Do we truly believe what God said about children?

Do we really believe that we ought to be fruitful and multiply?

Do we really believe children are a blessing?

Economist Lyman Stone says it well: “We are told that children are a blessing and gift from God. There is a cultural change going on among Christians—we are choosing not to read the biblical passages about the joy and beauty and excellence of large families.”

Let me pause and make it clear I fully recognize there are many who desire children but suffer from infertility. And I understand every couple must make their own decisions about the number of children in their family.

My challenge to couples is to evaluate their personal beliefs according to the truth of Scripture … and God places a heavenly value on children. 

In the end it’s their decision, of course. But if we truly believe what the Bible says about children, then why not prayerfully challenge couples who can have children to consider having more than one or two? And why not consider adding to your family through adoption or foster care?   

I realize that I may be one of the rare people in your life who has asked you, “Should you have more children?” I don’t mind being the voice that challenges this generation to consider whether they are listening too much to the culture on one of the most important decisions of their lives.

Lacking a true biblical vision

I also think many lack a true, biblical vision for children and parenting. In Deuteronomy 6:4-7 God reveals why He commands parents to be fruitful:

“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”

Do you see the vision here? God calls us not just to have children, but godly children who will in turn pass a godly legacy on to the next generation.

The home is the best place for a child to learn about God. In a culture of weakening character and ethics, our best hope for renewal lies in the restoration of godly homes. God created the family circle to be the ultimate conduit of Christianity to children and to the next generation.

Although it’s sobering to bring children into an increasingly decadent culture, in God’s timing our children will become His agents in advancing the kingdom of God.

In other words, your children may be your greatest legacy.

Consider for a moment what Rose Kennedy, mother of President John F. Kennedy, said of children: “Whenever I held my newborn baby in my arms, I used to think that what I said and did to him could have an influence not only on him, but on all whom he met, not only for a day or a month or a year, but for all eternity—a very challenging and exciting thought for a mother.”

Now that’s a mother who had a vision for children!

But what about dads?  Where are our voices casting a similar mission?

A call to radical selflessness

We need to recapture the biblical imperative that parenting is a sacred calling, that children are worth the effort (and all the costs)! God has selected parents for a work the angels must envy–the stewardship of a child’s soul.

If Christians are going to have children, then we must raise them well. And that requires radical selflessness, a commitment to walking humbly with God and to raising kids according to biblical values.

Early on, I mistakenly thought that God gave Barbara and me six children so that we could help them grow up. Now I believe God gave us children to help us finish the process of growing up!

We have found that it’s impossible to raise our children to become godly adults and be selfish at the same time. The lessons I continue to learn remind me of a bumper sticker I once saw:

MY CHILDREN SAVED ME FROM TOXIC SELF-ABSORPTION!

The need to be selfless ought to challenge mothers and fathers who spend too much time climbing the career ladder or pursuing personal interests at the expense of their kids. It ought to challenge parents to set down their smartphones and spend time with their kids.

Radical decisions

Here’s my exhortation to every couple: It’s time to make a radical assessment of their beliefs and their commitments to our children. This may lead you to make some sweeping and courageous decisions about your lifestyle.

For example, I understand that many mothers need to work in order to help care for their family. But I also recognize that there are also many mothers who work not out of true necessity, but for self-fulfillment or a higher standard of living. It’s so normal in today’s culture that some of you will be offended that I even question it.

I fear many Christian families have bought into the big lie that “You can have it all.”

But you and I can’t have it all.

Here’s another example: I once called a friend and asked to have lunch with him. In our time together, I said that I was very concerned about how much he was working—more than 80 hours a week. His wife had a pressure-packed, prestigious job, too. I told him I loved him, and that I wanted to challenge him to consider what his real values and responsibilities were to a wife and three children.

Our meeting ended on a cordial note, but there was a look in his eyes that made me wonder if he heard me. Maybe he did hear me and has chosen not to value his career over his wife and children. Time will tell.

Perhaps it’s time we asked one another some thorny questions.

Can Christians justify choices that prove to be harmful to children and destructive to families? Will it be said of us that we sacrificed our children on the altar of materialism, greed, and self-fulfillment? Are we raising our children to be missionaries or a mission field?

It’s time for every Christian parent to prayerfully ask: Am I embracing God’s view of children, and am I dying to self so that I can be the parent God wants me to be in valuing and raising the next generation?

And don’t forget:  God is bullish on children.

Selections of this post are adapted from Dennis Rainey’s book, One Home at a Time, a Focus on the Family book published by Tyndale House Publishers. Copyright ©Dennis Rainey. All rights reserved. International copyright secured. Used by permission.

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